Donald Trump has declared war on late-night television. He's attacked Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, and even Jimmy Fallon—basically everyone except Fox's Greg Gutfeld. Now he's demanding ABC fire Kimmel and has threatened legal action against the network.
But Trump has publicly said he wishes Johnny Carson, the late Tonight Show legend, was still alive to host the show. "Where's Johnny Carson? Bring back Johnny," he said while campaigning in 2024. He's called modern hosts "weak" compared to Carson, who he claims "wasn't political."
Johnny Carson spent decades eviscerating Trump when he was just an attention-hungry real estate developer in the '80s and '90s.
Carson's zingers were brutal. Using his famous Carnac the Magnificent bit, he quipped: "Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, and Donald Trump's mouth—name three things in New York that may run forever."
On Trump's bankruptcies, Carson went in: "Donald Trump was supposed to be with us tonight, but he called from the Motel 6 and said he missed his bus." Another: "The other day I saw Donald Trump on the street with a sign that said, 'Will Sell the Plaza Hotel for Food'."
There was the board-game bit: "It comes with dice, a board, and a little plastic set of homeless people." And a mock memo to Mister Rogers: "It's my neighborhood now. Take your crummy sweater and get out."
Carson even mocked Trump's treatment of elderly tenants: "You roll the dice and you land on a spot, and it says 'Evict an Elderly Couple, Collect $1 million in Property Taxes'."
Carson wasn't apolitical—he hammered politicians relentlessly, infuriating presidents and their families. He would have had an absolute field day with Trump in the White House.
Be careful what you wish for, Mr. President.
